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Animal Attraction/Transcript
% Mechanical whirring. :Sr.: Ah, the life of villany is most exciting, is it not, my son? :Jr.: If I want flashing lights, I go to the discotheque. :Sr.: In moments, the experimental prototype inside will be ours. :% Beeping. :Jr.: ( Sighs ) Could you not simply buy this fancy prototype online? :Sr.: You and your internet! Some things are best done the old-fashioned way, Junior! :Kim: Senor Senior, Sr. :Sr.: Ah, Kim Possible, my feisty teen nemesis. You complete me. :% Footsteps. :Ron: Don't forget me. :Sr.: Yes, of course. Ron Stoppable. :Jr.: Yeah, I'm not so good with the faces. :Kim: Surrender, Senor Senior... Sr. :Sr.: I must respectfully decline, but well played, Kim Possible. Well played. But the next time, you will not be so lucky. :% Beeping, explosion. :Ron: ( Gasping ) :Sr.: Until then... be well! :Ron: Bad man. Good manners. :Boy#1: I came out a green guppy. :Girl#1: Like, a total red ferret. :Amelia: Okay, at a fork in the road, you stop. :Ron: Kim, I need some advice. "You're embarking on a journey that will change your life. What snacks would you bring along?" :Kim: Don't tell me you got sucked in by this Animology craze. :Ron: "Craze"? I think not. Animology is a window into your innermost self. :Kim: Ron, it's a lame cross between astrology and a personality quiz. :Ron: Not even close. Animology assigns you a color and an animal. It's science, Kim. :Kim: Thanks, but I have a life. :Ron: It predicts your perfect mate. Tell me you don't wanna know your perfect mate. :Kim: Not if he's some... blue baboon! :Ron: Don't even joke, Kim. A blue baboon would be disastrous for you. :Kim: ( Sighs ) I pass on the fad, Ron. Okay, let's get started. :Bonnie: Do you mind? Some of us are trying to concentrate. :Jr.: I cannot wait to unlock my innermost self! :Sr.: I would prefer to unlock that vault in the weapons research facility. Oh, dear, here comes that pompous... Philippe! Philippe Boullion! Won't you join us for some lunch? :Philippe: My pleasure, Senor Senior, Sr. You so rarely make it to the club these days. :Sr.: I have an active retirement. :Philippe: Indeed. I understand your latest "hobby" is quite unique. :Jr.: Father wants to conquer the world. :Philippe: Well, who doesn't? But the Billionaire's Club prizes...discretion and obscenely large personal fortunes. :Sr.: I assure you, Philippe, though my pastime is pricey, I still possess the requisite billions for club membership. :Philippe: Of course... We checked. :Sr.: Then, how can I help you? :Philippe: Senor... A member in a melee with an American cheerleader? It reflects, how shall I say? Poorly on the club. :Sr.: What are you saying, Phillipe? :Philippe: That I am revoking your club membership. I'll take that. :% Bell ringing. :Bonnie: Amelia! Over here! :Amelia: I heard you're a lavendar mouse. I'm a red otter. Major conflict. :Kim: ( Slurping ) :Ron: I finished the Animology test. :Kim: Lemme guess. Blue baboon? :Ron: Worse. I'm a pink sloth, Kim. :Kim: A pink sloth? :Ron: Sloth! The lowest of the low. "The pink sloth is an outcast, a follower, socially inept and smellsof overripe fruit!" I do not smell of overripe fruit! :Rufus: ( Choking ) :Ron: I wonder if they have a pink naked mole rat. :Kim: ( Gasps ) Ron, your stupid book! Hmm... "You arrive at the multiplex, only to find that the movie you've come to see is sold out." Hmm. :Jr.: Father, if I was a tree, which tree do you think I would be? :Sr.: One that would be banned from the billionaire club, Junior. This insult gives me no choice but revenge! :Jr.: There are other clubs for the obscenly wealthy. :Sr.: Not the point. World-class villains are defined by disproportionate revenge. Perhaps I engineer a crash of financial markets that freezes the club's assets. :Jr.: ( Chuckles ) That would require a large freezer. :Sr.: I was not speaking literally, my son. ( Sipping ) Or was I? :Jim: Let's eat! :Kim's Mom: What is taking Kim so long? :Kim's Dad: She's working on some big test. Didn't catch the subject. :Kim: This should not be this hard. If the movie I want to see is sold out, I leave. But that makes me seem stubborn. I'll see something else. That's flexible. Or, it could mean I'm weak. :Kim's Mom: Kimmy, aren't you coming down to dinner? :Kim: Just start without me, Mom. I'm totally swamped! :Kim's Mom: What exactly is swamping you? :Kim: Animology. It says what kind of person you are. Not that I believe it. It's just for laughs. :Kim's Mom: Sounds like fun. I'll put your plate in the microwave. :Kim: Thanks, Mom. I'll just be a few. :Kim's Mom: Go to bed, Kim. :Kim: Night, Mom. Love you. "A mysterious stranger calls your name. You're most likely to..." I'm a blue fox, Dad. :Kim's Dad: Uh... super. Did you know that the blue fox is a born leader? "Can't resist a challenge, driven to excel... a perfectionist." :Kim's Mom: That explains the all-nighter. :Kim's Dad: Hold the phone! "The perfect soulmate of the blue fox is the yellow trout." Soulmate. I think Kimmy's a bit young to be looking for a "soulmate," or any kind of mate. :Kim's Mom: In a few days, Kimmy will have forgotten all about yellow trouts. This whole Animology business is just a silly teen fad. :Kim's Dad: Hmm... If you say so. So, uh... What are you? :Kim's Mom: Teal cat. You? :Kim's Dad: Beige raccoon. :Both: Soulmates! :Boy#1: I'm a yellow... bear, which is cool. :Amelia: Guess what? That hottie in english is a yellow... rabbit! :Ron: You were right, K.P. Animology is completely bogus. :Rufus: Pah! Bogus! :Kim: I don't know if I'd go that... :Ron: Because there is no way Ron Stoppable is a pink sloth. :Wade: Kim. I got that info you wanted. :Kim: Oh, no big. Just give it to me later. :Wade: But you said it was the highest priority. "Utmost rush"? :Kim: Whenever's fine. :Ron: No, no, no. Go ahead, Wade. Important news will be a welcome break from this Animology garbage. :Wade: Okay, I checked all school databases, Kim, but there's no way to tell who's a yellow trout. :Ron: You took the test? :Kim: I'm a blue fox. I can't resist a challenge. :Ron: I can't believe you are into Animology. :Kim: I am not "into" it, Ron. I took the test for laughs. No big. :% Kimmunicator beeps. :Kim: Who's the yellow trout? :Ron: So into it. :Wade: Still looking, but you did get an interesting hit on the site. From Pop Pop Porter. :Kim: Who? :Ron: Shame on you, K.P. Pop Pop is the genius revolutionized the heat-and-eat snack industry. :Wade: Pop Pop's Mini Corn Dogs? :Ron: Nature's perfect food. :Kim: Have you ever read what's in them? :Ron: That would be stupid. :Kim: I avoid fried foods. :Ron: Never fried! Flash-frozen. :Wade: Streaming the video. :Pop Pop: I need your help, little lady. Someone stole my state- of-the-art flash-freezing cryovator. :Ron: No flash-freezer? That means no mini corn dogs! :Wade: No bite-sized goodness? :Boys: No!! :Kim: Pull yourself together and get me the downlow on this cryovator. :Wade: I have this commercial. :Commercial: ( Singing ) ::Are you hungry? ::Then dive right in ::Our mini corn dogs are a man's best friend ::These bite-sized doggies are sure to please ::Made from Pop Pop'scorny secret recipe ::We flash-freeze the flavor ::That's why they're guaranteed ::Pop Pop Porter's mini corn dogs ::Pop Pop: Flash-frozen flavor, folks. :Ron: You gotta love little corn doggie. :Kim: Yeah... Okay. We'll need a ride. :Wade: Pop Pop's on it. :% Engine approaching. :Ron: Dang! That's a big little corn doggie. :Pop Pop: Here we are, little lady. The scene of the crime. :Kim: ( Sniffling ) :Ron: ( Sobbing ) :Rufus: ( Wailing ) :Kim: Do you smell that? :Ron: ( Sniffling ) :Pop Pop: Are you feeling right, son? :Ron: It's too heinous for words. I just love your product! :Pop Pop: Don't do that. :Kim: It smells so... ( Sniffs ) familiar. Wade, I need an air quality analysis. :Wade: Activating olfactory sensors. :% Snorting. :Pop Pop: The real shame is that these little doggies'll go to waste, unless somebody eats 'em, and soon. :% Ron, Rufus groan. :% Kimmunicator beeps. :Kim: Go, Wade. :Wade: That smell? Cologne. Very expensive. Custom-blended for an exclusive clientele. Guess who's on the list. :Kim: Senor Senior, Jr. :Wade: Right. :Ron: The Senor's plan is pure evil. Wait until the world is in a mini corn dog famine, then make us pay, pay big. :Kim: Senor Senior's after something bigger than mini corn dogs. :Ron: What could be biggerthan mimi corn dogs? :Kim: You are such a pink sloth. :Ron: One: Animology is bogus, and two: Senior's after corn dogs. :Kim: Is not, is not. Look at this lair. He's all about big crimes. :Ron: Mini corn dogs. :Kim: Crime. :Ron: Corn dog. :Kim: Crime. Ron! Look! The cryovator. :Ron: Snack thief! :Kim: Shh! ( Sniffing ) The cologne! :Ron: ( Screaming ) :Both: ( Yelling ) :Rufus: ( Squealing ) :Both: ( Struggling ) :Sr.: Ah, Kim Possible. And so our little game of cat and mouse goes on, eh? :Ron: Are we the cat or the mouse? :Jr.: ( Laughing ) Mouse. :Ron: But we were stalking you. That's cattish, my friend. :Jr.: This is a good point. :Kim: No, it's not. :Ron: Let the corn dogs go, Senor Senior! :Sr.: Dear boy, this is not about tiny breaded sausages. :Kim: Mmm-hmm. :Ron: You blue foxes think you know everything. :Jr.: Blue fox? You study the Animology? :Sr.: Oh, please, Junior. Do not start. The time has come to prove my villainous mettle. First, I will flash-freeze you. :Ron: You don't need to prove anything. :Sr.: Well, that is very kind, but... it is part of my plan. You understand. :% Beeping. :% Mechanical whirring. :% Screaming. :Sr.: Next, I will freeze the billionaire's club from which I was so rudely ejected. :Ron: You're doing all this just to tweak some other rich guys? :Sr.: Yes. Wonderful, isn't it? :Kim: You can freeze us, but there is no way Pop Pop Poter's little cryovator can freeze an entire building. :Sr.: Actually, it's more of an island. Which is why we studied Pop Pop's cryovation technology to create... this. :Kim: That oughta do it. :Ron: Do you realize the jumbo mini corn dogs you could flash-freeze with that... Ow! :Sr.: ( Sighs ) I will miss our fearsome rivalry, Kim Possible. Come, Junior. Junior! :Jr.: Father! I am the yellow trout! :Kim: ( Shuddering ) No!! Junior's a yellow trout?! Gross! :Ron: K.P., don't you think we have bigger problems? :Kim: My perfect match cannot be Senor Senior, Jr. :Ron: I'm sure you'll be happy together... if he can defrost you! :Kim: Rufus! Push the red button! :Rufus: ( Straining ) :Kim: He's too light! :Ron: Rufus! Look in my pocket. Scarf 'em! :% Gulping, panting. :% Gulping, panting. :% Gulping, panting. :Rufus: Ah! :% Sloshing. :Kim: Hurry, Rufus! :Rufus: ( Straining ) :Ron: Now I'm cold. :% Machinery winding down. :Rufus: ( Sighing ) :Kim: Good little hairless rodent. :Rufus: ( Groaning ) :Ron: Corn dogs rock! Why can't I feel my feet? I've got footsicles! Maybe if I...whoa, whoa! Whoa! :% Crashing. :% Ron struggling. :Kim: We need to find something to get us to the Billionaire's club. :Ron: I think we'll manage. :Kim: If Animology says that Senor Senior, Jr.'s my soulmate, I say, forget Animology. :Ron: Done and done. :Rufus: ( High-pitched raspberry ) ( Shrieking ) :Ron: Rufus! :Rufus: ( Screaming ) Whoa! ( Yelling ) :Ron: Buddy, are you all right? :Rufus: Whoo-hoo! :Philippe: Well, he knows he's not welcome here. Senor Senior, Sr. won't darken our door again. :% Helicopter buzzing. :Sr.: Release the tether line, Junior. Junior! :Jr.: It says the yellow trout cares only about himself. They make that sound like a bad thing. :Sr.: Activate the solar panels. Initiate freezer start-up. :% Panicked screams. :Philippe: My caviar! It's Beluga... ow! :Sr.: I am revoking your club, Bouillon! :Jr.: My perfect match is the blue fox. I'd like to know this blue fox person. :% Kimmunicator beeps. :Kim: Wade, what have you got? :Wade: This giant cryovator's solar-powered. No plug to pull! :Kim: So what can we do? :Wade: Destroy it? :Ron: Follow the money? :Jr.: Did we not leave Kim Possible on a conveyor belt to her doom? :Sr.: Yes. A proper villain always leaves his foe when he's about to expire. :Jr.: Why? :Sr.: Well, it would be bad form just to lull about, waiting for it. :Jr.: Why? :Sr.: Tradition! She's really testing my patience, this Kim Possible. :Philippe: Help! Anybody? :Kim: I'll get you! Okay, this is gonna get a little warm. :Philippe: ( Screaming ) Yeow!! You wouldn't want to dash in and fetch my caviar, would you? I thought not. :Kim: Look out! :Jr.: Why did you not just aim the laser at their bodies? :Sr.: Junior, if you do not understand the traditions of villainy, I have failed as a father. :% Beeping. :Ron: You blue foxesthink you know everything. :Sr.: Farewell, Kim Possible. It's been, as you say, a blast! :Ron: You blue foxes... ( Echoing ) Blue foxes... Blue foxes... :Jr.: ( Shrieking ) No!! You must not harm my blue fox! :Kim: Get down! :Sr.: Do you understand why I am angry? :Jr.: Kim Possible, you are the blue fox. I am the yellow trout. We are meant to be. We are... soulmates! :Sr.: Junior! Dating an arch foe is... spitting upon villain tradition. :Jr.: But, father! :Sr.: Back to the lair with you! Tradition dictates we must begin to plot our revenge immediately! :Kim: Wow. I think my blue fox thing has just saved us. :Ron: That was weird. :Kim: I guess Animology isn't all bad. Wade? :Wade: Morning, Kim. Did you get the flowers? :Kim: Uh, yeah. :Wade: There's an e-card. I'll stream it. :Jr.: My blue fox, I count the hours until my father's criminal activities bring us near again. Mwah! :Wade: That is so beautiful! ( Laughing ) :Kim: And so, yellow trout. :Ron: I don't want to hear another word about Animology! Ron Stoppable is no pink sloth! :Amelia: Whew! That's a relief. A pink sloth is supposed to be my soulmate. :Ron: Soul...?! Amelia! Wait! I'm a textbook sloth! Outcast, follower, socially inept! I smell like corn dogs! We're made for each other! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts